That is what I feel right now. I have an intense sales meeting next week in Destin (big whoop) that is so-o-o much extra work to prepare for it. I cannot wait to retire. I have 1 yr. 10 months. I will do something else but only part time and something I really WANT to do. Oh geez, this is turning into another whine.
Okay, I went to the park and walked as fast as I could for 1 hr. 15 min. including stretching and one bathroom break. I heard this "swish, swish" behind me, then, beside me and then passing me and leaving me in the dust. It was a lady maybe an inch taller than me, from Pakistan or one of those countries, with all the garb on, head covered, neck covered (can't remember what they call this clothing) and she had on a LONG denim skirt that was "slim" at the bottom and she had that skirt stretched to the max with each step...and they were fast steps. I felt like the biggest NON-Marathoner at that moment. I mean her shoes did not look like anything from Fleet Feet. They were black and leather and I may need to look into getting some if they let you walk that fast! Anyway, I just shrugged...should be used to being passed by now. ALTHOUGH, on occasion, I will pass a few people. But tonight, I could not bring myself to run. I just did not want to be uncomfortable. What a spoiled little brat I am. I just did not have it in me. I think I have a little depression trying to get a stronghold on me because I am worried about my son's future. I don't want to take antidepressants because I am afraid of gaining more weight. I am depending on the exercise and God to get me through without medication. I need to pray more and I need to let God take my troubles and trust him to handle them. I woke up at 3:30am this morning and could not get back to sleep. Think I will go to bed since I will need to stock up on rest so I can get through Saturdays' event. Good-night. P. S. Took my shoes in to Wayne Jimenez today and he glued a pad underneath my shoe insert and my toes DID NOT HURT when I walked tonight. He's good. He also was appalled at how badly I needed new shoes. I prefer a P.T. tell me than a shoe salesman! I have 2 pair ordered just like these but they have not arrived yet. Got them on sale which is why I ordered 2 pair. Okay, okay, good night again.
5 comments:
Hang in there Cheryl! You are doing great. Don't let the depression get you down. Try not to worry about things you can't control. It is a waste of time. Put it in God's hands.
jana
God does get us through the tough times. However, sometimes a little medical help can make a big difference. Many people can take an antidepressant for a short period of time just to sort of "get themselves back on track." Others need it permanently to correct a chemical imbalance. Depression is very hard to deal with on your own. Exercise is good for depression but if that's not helping, you may need to see your doctor. I don't know if you can tell, but I am speaking from experience. So hang in there and remember, I'm here if you need me.
Sheila
I, too have been experiencing depression, but this is a huge part of why I am in MM. It is soooo therapuetic for me. We all are going to have good days and bad days, and some days we don't want to WALK much less run... I've been stuck in a walking mood all week myself. No running. I'm sure I'll pay for it tomorrow, but oh well. Life goes on. Don't be overwhelmed. You have a great group of supporters between your family and you mm friends. We're all here for you. God is in control and will never give you anything too big to handle!
It always ticks me off to see someone glide by me like I was standing still and I'm hustling as fast as I can walk. Aggrevating!
I wish there was something I could do to help you as you deal with all you have on your plate. Of course, all I can do is tell you my prayers are with you and offer to meet anytime you'd like for coffee, lunch, a wog, a bike ride, whatever. Keep that in mind and call anytime.
Ditto for me everything that Sheila said. Exercise does help but sometimes we need a little help from the medical professionals. I have been on antidepressants for 15 years and I'll be a lifer. It doesn't make you weak to admit you need help. You are going through something horrible and it's no doubt that you would feel depressed. Take care of yourself however you need to. You deserve to be healthy and happy!
Post a Comment