Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Gargantuan
Oh, my upbeat self feels beat down. I got up this morning, went to the park and walked 1 mile in 16 min. and I was feeling pretty good, did the next mile in 14 min. with about 5 min. of running at somewhat intervals since I don't have an interval watch, then decided to walk the last mile since I was feeling pretty tired and that mile was a mere 17 min. I did a total of 50 min. and I really felt like I was pushing myself. How in the world am I going to do 26.2 miles? I am having big doubts today...I feel scared of failure. I am having a lot of stress from all corners of my life lately...maybe that explains my negativity. I should be glad that I have no injuries and I am. I think the thing that gets me most frustrated is the running. When I was 20 years younger and 40 lbs. lighter, I could run. I ran a 10K---all the way in 57 min.--not a record breaker but at 40 I felt good that I could do a 9.3 mile. Now, running takes my wind away, big time. I wish I could read some blogs from the previous marathoners to see if they were struggling at this point as I feel I am. I am also frustrated that I have not lost the pounds or inches. Maybe there has been a loss in centimeters or millimeters, but not inches. I am exercising more in the past 3 months than I have in 20 years. I thought this weight would just fall off. When it didn't with the walking, I thought, okay when I start running it will. Well, maybe it would, but I can't seem to run long AT ALL. I hate that. I realize I am doing this marathon for more than weight loss, but losing the weight would make the running a little easier. I was hoping that I would be stronger and could run longer in the early a.m. but I was not. Doing the time in the morning has the huge advantage of getting it done before something else takes over my time after work. Anyway, I hope ventilating my frustration and fears here will help me through this down time. Right now I am wondering what I was thinking to sign up for AND TELL EVERYBODY that I was going to undertake this gargantuan goal! Woe is me.
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6 comments:
I am feeling the same way you are right now. Honestly, I thought I would lose some weight with this training. I haven't lost a pound or an inch, as a matter in fact, I'm having to shop for clothes bc my old ones no longer fit. very frustrating. and just yesterday, I was wondering how on earth will I ever make it 26.2 miles. My motivation right now is my niece Lillian. I'm using this to raise $ and awareness for CFC. If I wasn't doing this for them, I would have thrown in the towel too.
Woe is us! All I can say is let's give it another week and see how it goes.
I promise you, stick with it, develop an interval plan -- don't get too ambitious too quick -- and you will see improvement in your endurance.
As for the weight, I believe, too that you need to get a heart rate monitor and work at keeping your heart rate in the "aerobic" zone for at least 20 minutes. That will kick start your metabolism and you should see the scales start to move down.
I was losing a litte each week (very little) for the first 8 weeks. Then as I started to run and get my heart rate consistently in the 140 bpm range, the weight is coming off more rapidly. Of course, none of it is as fast as I'd like, but I've lost 13 lbs -- so a pound a week give or take is not bad. (and 6 lbs were in the last couple of weeks). And I have not really "dieted" or even been very good about eating right. (I keep saying I need to change my eating habits, but not doing very good with that!).
I think I was at the same place you are about two week ago when I started to try to run. It was like "OMG! I'll never be able to even run one mile." That still seems like a far-off goal, but I've a little more confidence that it will happen and oh, boy, I will be celebrating!
I realized the other day that I could complete the marathon. I could walk it at a pace of 3.5 - 3.8 mph and finish it. I have no doubts about that. So that pressure is off for me. Now it's about trying to improve that average pace so that I can finish in ~6 hours. That would be nice and I am working on that goal. But you know, if I don't get there, so what. I'm still a marathoner and I will finish the Chicago marathon. So that was the plan all along! The rest is gravy.
You're in the "house of pain!" Hang in there! We'll get through it!
Cheryl,
Hang in there girl! We all have bad days where we feel like we just can't do this "gargantuan" thing. Close your eyes and look past it and see yourself at a party (like last Saturday, except with a whole lot more people) on October 7, 2007. Can you see it? That's what I'm talking about girl! We'll be at that party screaming, "We did it! When do we start training for next year?!!!"
Sheila
Cheryl,
Mark said it would take 3 months before you noticed a significant change in your body. It hasn't quite been 3. Hang in there.
And, if it makes you feel any better, I am 25, and I am still getting winded on my runs. Maybe not quite like I was in the beginning, but I certainly can't run a mile without taking a break to walk. Come on! You can do this. This time next year you won't be able to tell people you are training for the Chicago marathon. This time next year you will be telling people I COMPLETED THE CHICAGO MARATHON! WE ARE MARATHONERS!!!
Hang in there, we've got plenty of time still. Maybe try thinking of how far we've come, instead of how far there is yet to go. But this is as much about dedication and self discipline and perseverance as it is about conditioning. YOU CAN DO THIS! And remember - "It's supposed to be hard. If it was easy, everyone would do it." (Tom Hanks in A League of Their Own)
All right Cheryl! Just like at the Run From the Sun when Jana wouldn't let me lag behind her, I'm not going to let you lag behind and beat yourself up. You are doing soooo well and have come so far since this whole thing started. We are constructing a building here. It doesn't go up in a day, it takes a long time. You MUST be patient with yourself and realize that you will have bad days. That is okay. But you also MUST keep pushing through it and you will overcome. Don't worry about the weight. Just let nature take it's course. And remember what Mark says about the marathon training: it is more about your attitude than it is about your physicality. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and YOU GO GIRL! YOU ARE A MARATHONER!!!!
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